SAUSAGE AND SMASH SCRIPT Dave Corbett 2026
Mrs Puddle had two pet dogs, Sausage, who was a sausage dog, a Dachshund, who, incidentally really like eating sausages, and a Golden Retriever called Smash. Smash wasn't too good at retrieving or fetching things, but she was very good at smashing things.
Breakfast's ready girls, shouted Mrs Puddle as she put two bowls of dogfood on the kitchen floor. She stepped back as Smash, quite a big dog, hurtled through the kitchen door nearly knocking Mrs Puddle off her feet, and knocking over the bowl of water that Mrs Puddle had put down for the dogs. Careful Smash. Sausage rolled her eyes.
Smash then stood with one paw in the dogfood bowl and one foot in the spilt water and started to eat. "I'd better clean up that puddle," said Mrs Puddle and went to get a mop.
Smash started gronfing away like her food might disappear any second .. in face it did disappear any second ... down her throat. Sausage rolled her eyes in despair. What terrible manners thought Sausage as she delicately munched on her breakfast.
Smash had finished her food, but, hang on, what was that she could smell? Her nose sniffed and twitched. Smash stood up on her back legs and put her front paws on the table. Sausage rolled her eyes. A trifle! Mrs Puddle had made a trifle. Smash scuffled around a bit and pulled the trifle off the table, onto the floor. Sausage rolled her eyes.
Mrs Puddle came back with her mop and bucket but didn't notice the trifle mess on the floor ... until she slipped on it. Down she went, landing up on on her bottom with a pet dog on either side of her.
"Oh dear, what a mess. Did you do this Smash?" asked Mrs Puddle. Smash shook her head innocently from side to side, side to side, side to side. Sausage rolled her eyes and nodded her head up and down, up and down, up and down. Smash had done it again.
SAUSAGE AND SMASH LYRICS Dave Corbett 2026
Crash, bang, wallop, (fx) bing, bong, bash (fx)
first meet Sausage,(bark) now meet Smash. (bark) (fx)
It was an accident, not what that dog had meant ... to do.
She is a danger zone, (For sure),she'll wreck your home, (She will)
disaster prone, (Oh yes) she'll make you groan. ...
SPOKEN For goodness. sake Smash.
Crash, bang, wallop, (fx) bing, bong, bash (fx)
first meet Sausage,(bark) now meet Smash. (bark) (fx)
It was an accident, not what that dog had meant ... to do.
She'll make a mess, (For sure) she'll cause you stress, (She will)
make you fret, (Oh yes) but she's your pet.
SPOKEN Never mind Smash.
Slow down Smash, take care Smash,
Just think Smash, don't rush Smash.
SPOKEN Smash, look out (fx)
Crash, bang, wallop, (fx) bing, bong, bash (fx)
first meet Sausage,(bark) now meet Smash. (bark) (fx)
It was an accident, not what that dog had meant ... to do.
She'll make a mess, (For sure) she'll cause you stress, (She will)
make you fret, (Oh yes) but she's your pet.
SPOKEN Never mind Smash.