THE BHG SCRIPT Dave Corbett 2025

Hello, my name’s Dennis … I expect you know what your name is.

I’ve got two mates, well more actually, but the mates that work with me are called Duggie and Digby. Brothers. Digby’s hobby is digging holes, anywhere. Bizarre. My hobby is knitting. 

We work for the council ... roads, water mains, drainage, that sort of thing. Huh, people call us The Big Hole Gang, ‘cause that’s what we do. Dig big holes, and some small ones sometimes. We’re dead keen. 

I’ll give you an idea of a typical day. 

First, load up the van, not forgetting the half dozen flasks of tea, hitch the compressor, have a cup of tea. 

Drive to whatever site it is, park up, have a cup of tea. Unload all the tools and get a butchers of the job. Have a cup of tea. 

Start digging for a bit, have a rest and a cup of tea. 

Stop for another cup of tea about 11 o’clock. Keep digging until lunchtime, about 12 o’clock, then it’s sandwiches and a cup of tea.

Start again about half past one after another cup of tea, and work until about 3. Day done.

Have a cup of tea, pack everything up and off home .. for a rest and a nice comfy cup of tea.

We’re famous. Listen, we got a mention on the local radio station.

THE BHG LYRICS Dave Corbett

News flash, the Big ‘Ole Gang, known affectionately as the BHG, are in the area today and may be digging up a water main near you. You have been warned.

CHORUS

      We're the BHG, the BHG, we're skilled at making indents 

      and drinking lots of tea. Our goal is holes, our goal is holes.

Well I'm Dennis, then there's Dougie, Dougie digs with great panache,

Then there's Digby, Dougie's brother, we get dirt out in a flash.

We're the pride of our profession, yes we give our heart and soul,

We wield our picks and shovels as we dig our helpful holes.

CHORUS

Yes, Dougie's quite an artist, he's like a human mole, 

Just hand him a utensil and he'll dig a lovely hole.

One day a lady called us, a water leak she feared,

Our Dougie got to work and half her garden disappeared.

CHORUS

Now Digby is a marvel, you should see him with a pick,

He's like a live tornado cause he digs his hoe so quick.

The only snag with Digby, he has this little quirk ...

Each morning he digs twenty holes just on his way to work.

CHORUS

We pitch our little tent in awkward places in the road

And apertures are rendered outside your posh abode.

We like to cause some chaos to see you folks tirade,

It's just a nice depression that the BHG have made.

CHORUS … Oi!