PIRATICAL DREAMS SCRIPT Dave Corbett 2025

A long time ago a little baby boy was born on Christmas day. No, no … not that baby … not that Christmas day. This baby’s Mum and Dad were pirates, yes, both of them Peg Leg Pete and his wife Penelope. Only Peg Leg had a beard of course. They decided to call their son Chris, quite an ordinary name for a pirate I suppose. He inherited his parents fierce and gruesome looks. When he grew up he followed in his father’s footsteps, but with two legs of course, got his own pirate ship and hoisted his very own skull and crossbones flag, His motley crew called him Captain Christmas. har, har.

SONG : PIRATES

But, you know, over time, the captain’s heart began to soften. He had bursting treasure chests buried on lots of different islands; he certainly didn’t need more treasure. And, there is a limit to how many poor sailors could be made to walk the plank. It got boring after a while .. not to those who plummeted into shark infested waters of course, it was a tragedy for them.

Captain Christmas was getting soft. He stopped attacking every ship that sailed over the horizon, in fact it was so long since they had plundered a poor unfortunate galleon that his cutlass was beginning to get a bit rusty. And the crew spent so much time polishing canons, swabbing the decks and repairing the sails that they became, well, a bit rusty themselves. Even practicing sword fights became a chore for them. They got lazy.

Everyone’s minds turned to daydreaming, and night dreaming, about a more gentle life on dry land. Lying in a hammock under a palm tree, sipping coconut milk perhaps, growing some flowers in a garden. Actually being able to scrub off some of their piratical grime in a lovely cool stream instead of using saltwater with fish in it. Well, actually they never got washed at sea anyway. Mucky pups. Surely all that would beat pirating hands down. Wouldn’t’ it?

SONG : PIRATE DREAMERS.

                                            PIRATES / LYRICS

CHORUS

  Pirates, pirates, a pirate’s life for me;

  pirates, pirates, scourge of the seven seas. 

  We’re pirates, pirates, a pirate’s life for me;

  pirates, pirates, scourge of the seven seas.

 Fly the Jolly Roger, you’ll end up with Davy Jones,

 fly the Jolly Roger, skull and cross bones; 

 fly the Jolly Roger, we rule in our ocean realm,

 fly the Jolly Roger, with our Captain Christmas at the helm …

 good old Captain Christmas at the helm.

 1 Beard and scars and peg and patch,

 Long John Silver ain’t no match;

 Don’t keep treasure in no bank,

 keeps it where it’s dark and dank.

Pirates, pirates, a pirate’s life for me;

pirates, pirates, scourge of the seven seas.

 Hornpipe Instrumental (solo, or small group of dancers)

CHORUS

2 With our cutlass and our rum

 we have lots of gruesome fun;

 we try out our pirate prank

 making people walk the plank.

CHORUS

                                          PIRATE DREAMERS / LYRICS

1

What do pirates dream of, what do pirates dream?

The very notion of life on an ocean can lose its charm I fear.

What do pirates dream of, what do pirates dream?

They deserve a medallion to live on a galleon all throughout the year.

    Just give me dry land, an island,  some palm trees, oh yes please.

That’s what every pirate dreams.

 Pirate dreamers,  sailing along on a sea of crystal blue;

 pirate dreamers, hope your piratical dreams come true.

2

What do pirates dream of, what do pirates dream?

An island, so tiny, out there in the briny where they can plant their feet.

What do pirates dream of, what do pirates dream?

They all desire a warm cosy fire, they need a special treat.

 Oh for some soft sand, some firm land,  a cool stream to wash clean.

That’s what every pirate dreams.

 Pirate dreamers,  sailing along on a sea of crystal blue;

 pirate dreamers, hope your piratical dreams come true.

3

What do pirates dream of, what do pirates dream?

They may look rough and hardened, but oh for a garden,

that’s every pirate’s dream.