BEST BIRD    Script    Dave Corbett    2024

Once upon a time there was a field. Once upon a time there was a field with lovely bushes in it. Once upon a time there was a field with lovely bushes and tall trees in it. Yes, alright, you can see things like that all the time, not just once upon a time. But this once upon a time was a bit different. A peacock and a wren were in the field. 

The wren is the shortest bird in Britain; not the smallest, that’s the goldcrest, but the shortest. The peacock is one of the most splendid birds with a magnificent tail that he displays when he showing off to a peahen, that’s a lady peacock.

Percy peacock was telling Rita the wren just how lovely his tail was. He spread it out behind him, long and so colourful, and said, in bird language of course. ‘What do you think of my tail Rita Wren?’ Of course Rita said ‘Oh it’s magnificent Percy’, which it was. ‘It looks like lots of shiny, glowing eyes don’t you think,’ said Percy. ‘It does, it does’, said Rita. ‘It’s wonderful’. ‘I think I’m the best bird’, said Percy. Rita was a little bit shocked. ‘Well you do have the best, most beautiful tail that’s for sure, but that doesn’t mean you’re the best bird’.

‘Well just look at your tail’, said Percy. ‘You can hardly see it it’s so tiny. I am definitely the best bird.’ Best tail doesn’t mean best bird, ‘replied Rita. ‘Course it does,’ said Percy.

Just then, out of the corner of her eye, Rita spotted some ears behind a close by bush. She knew those ears, it was Freddy the fox. Freddy had been watching the two birds closely from behind the bush, and now he sprang out, hoping to catch them and have a scrummy birdy meal.

Rita was so small and light she quickly flew off into a nearby tree. Percy, however, was not a great flyer, and he was quite heavy. As he tried to fly away he was just a bit too slow and Freddy the fox managed to grab the end of Percy’s tail in his teeth. Oh no. Freddy opened his mouth to get a better bite, and Percy just managed to take off into the air and landed next to Rita on the tree branch. Phew, what a close escape.

Freddy was left with a few long and very pretty feathers in his mouth. Not quite the meal he had hoped for. He slunk off, hoping to spot something else to munch. ‘Who’s the best bird now?’ asked Rita the wren. ‘Well perhaps neither of us is actually best. Perhaps we are just different,’said Percy. ‘But my tail really is the best,’ said Percy. ‘Mmm,’said Rita the wren. Some peacocks never learn.

BEST BIRD SONG       Dave Corbett      2024

   Good, better best, what a silly test.

   We are who we are, we are all stars.

   So you see, I am me, I am me, I am meee ….yippee.

 I may be a wren, a peacock I am not,

 My tail may be small, but I don’t give a jot.

 Sly Freddy fox behind a bush

 looking out for teatime, well there’s no rush

      Good, better best, what a silly test.

      We are who we are, we are all stars.

      So you see, I am me, I am me, I am meee ….yippee.

 See my lovely tail, It’s really hard to fly,

 Quite a lot of work to get up in the sky.

 Sly Freddy fox behind a bush

 looking out for teatime, well there’s no rush

        Good, better best, what a silly test.

        We are who we are, we are all stars.

        So you see, I am me, I am me, I am meee ….yippee.

 A peacock I may be, longer tail than you,

 but it slows me down … yes that is quite true.

        Good, better best, what a silly test.

        We are who we are, we are all stars.

        So you see, I am me, I am me, I am meee ….yippee.